Sunday, October 21, 2018
There are no Stakes to raise, Subway
I wonder how many times Subway thought we wanted to watch some kid's pathetic YouTube footage of him "accomplishing" the trick of flipping a water bottle so it lands on its cap- the kind of thing I take points off of tests for if my kids do it in class is something to be "celebrated" as an "accomplishment" to Subway, I guess.
The only thing I see being "accomplished" here is another episode in the very, very American series entitled "watch I filmed myself doing something almost unbelievably pointless and without value by any stretch of the imagination and even throw my hands up in triumph when I accomplished this stunningly stupid and pointless thing."
Since there are no "stakes" here, I can only guess that Subway went with the tagline "Let's Raise the Stakes" in order to make a totally lame pun about Steak in the sandwiches. Ok, fine- but why not accompany that little bit of punnery with someone actually ACCOMPLISHING SOMETHING- why not show this kid getting first prize in a Science Fair or a 5 on an Advanced Placement Exam or even winning a board game with grandma (in which everyone wins, because time was spent with grandma instead of by yourself with your camera flipping a freaking bottle 2000 times until you "succeeded" in getting it land on it's cap, good lord just kill yourself now ok?)
Oh, right- because that's not at all funny or entertaining. Never mind that this is pretty much the opposite of funny or entertaining, regardless of what the glue-sniffing morons in the comment section seem to think. I'm going to avoid Subway out of principle after seeing this ad because man this is stupid- and calling it "stupid" is being really mild.