Sunday, October 17, 2021

Taco Bell was the best choice of evils here


As near as I can figure from watching this commercial no less than a dozen times over the course of two baseball playoff games yesterday, here is the storyline:  

A very pretty girl is at one of those cliche'd parties at the beach featuring irresponsible young people sitting around a fire drinking beer.  Maybe it's because I live on the East Coast and have never been to a West Coast beach after dark, but I've never seen this in real life.  I've never been to a beach which allows fires or alcohol at any time of day.  But whatever, I see this enough on television to convince me that somewhere there are beaches that allow this, and these young people are at least not breaking the law.  They are just being asshats who are more than likely to leave burning embers and empty beer bottles and other trash on the beach when they leave.

Ok, Boomer rant over.  Next we see a typical tv greasy Eurotrash wannabee eyeing that very pretty girl and finally making eye contact.  Because this is television, the girl isn't at all weirded out at being stared at by this guy despite the fact I get the strong sense that they aren't a couple (I mean, they aren't sitting next to each other.)  More like when Daniel LaRusso makes eye contact with Ally and won't break it off until she smiles back.  But at least they were just stupid teenagers.  Plus, it was the eighties, and everything was allowed back in the eighties.

Come to think of it, they had an open fire at the beach, too.  So I guess beach fires are just a thing in California.

Anyway, these people who seem to have just met go running into the surf together, and seem on the verge of kissing.  For some reason, a loud gong goes off which I'm guessing is just symbolic- the "gong" is the pretty girl's stomach letting her know that she's hungry (I guess they had alcohol but no snacks in front of that fire.  That's pretty stupid.  There's no end of snacks that go well with beer, kids.)  She dumps the guy to head off to Taco Bell like she's in a trance- like she's one of the Eloi and it's time to give herself to the Morlocks. 

I mean, if the sudden desire for a greasy taco from America's favorite provider of cheap grease and carbs wasn't so irresistible, she might have brought the guy along to pay at least.  And then he'd have more insight into this girl he's into- she likes Taco Bell.  I don't know how he'd translate this- is she just totally tasteless, or is she a cheap date?- but at least she'd still have the five bucks or so she spent on this late-night calorie bomb.  Then again, by dumping Eurotrash she's significantly decreased her odds of ending the night pregnant.  So for once, I applaud the decision to choose Taco Bell.

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