Friday, August 19, 2022

Smirnoff's "give the people what they want" commercial


Vodka was invented by horrifically-poor Russian peasants who needed a cheap way to get drunk quickly.  It doesn't taste like anything, which is why nobody drinks it straight (except poor people of any ethnicity who need a cheap way to get drunk quickly.)  It has to be doctored with pretty much any other liquid to get down.  And if it's what you drink at a party, you'll need a designated driver after a minimal number of consumed ounces and you'll probably end up saying and doing something really stupid if you have that designated driver and just let yourself go.

Surrounded by superior options (and that's pretty much everything except whiskey, which is just vodka for another culture using the waste of a different vegetable,) I will never understand why anyone would choose vodka.  Unless you're poor and you want to get drunk quickly.  Which isn't particularly glamorous, regardless of what we are being shown in this commercial (notice how vodka drinkers are always depicted by pretty white actors?  90 percent of the actors in whiskey ads are also young, attractive, upwardly-mobile types.  Why is that?)  But it is effective, and if you're one of the growing number of People who find that their liquor dollar doesn't go as far as it used to (Thanks Obama!) maybe this ad is comforting to you?

1 comment:

  1. Fun fact: the Russian Air Force doesn't denature its aircraft fuel because they don't wanna poison ground crews.