Monday, September 5, 2022

A brief take on this Babbel Commercial


1.  Generic "Spanish" music plays as a woman who might as well have an AMERICAN TOURIST sign around her neck peeks into a cafe/restaurant/whatever.

2.  American Tourist hasn't figured out that everyone in Europe speaks English.  I'm serious- I've been to four countries where the first language is not English- France, The Netherlands, Italy and Greece- and have yet to encounter a local who does not speak and understand the English language as well as I do.  The only time I had even the slightest difficulty was when I tried to order a milkshake in a small town in Greece- and the word "milkshake" was on the menu.  The 75-year old grandmother who sold me a novelty magnet near the Parthenon spoke English.  EVERYONE OVER THERE SPEAKS ENGLISH, especially the young (like this little girl we'll get to in another moment.)

3.  Cue Little Spanish Girl Stereotype speaking in broken English like she's an Indian in a 1940s American Western.  I guess I should be grateful that she didn't ask the Mysterious Stranger Woman if she's a Good Witch because she has a glowing talking box in her hand.  Little Spanish Girl Stereotype for some reason feels compelled to ask her about how she acquired Spanish Language Skills she doesn't actually have, because in Little Spanish Girl Stereotype's world, learning English is some kind of magic power and not something EVERYONE OVER THERE LEARNS IN SCHOOL.

(Or, LSGS is aware that only a tiny fraction of Americans are bilingual and believes that Americans have a unique learning disability and not a stubborn, jingoistic allergy to learning in general.)

4.  Wise Western Woman decides it's perfectly ok to touch a strange minor on the nose because LSGS is a prop or an animal at a petting zoo.   Seriously, who doesn't cringe when they see something like this?  That's a fellow human being, not an ornament to enhance your Exotic Journey through some Backward yet Fascinating Culture, you entitled twat.  Going to pat her head and get a selfie with her next?  Who the hell do you think you are?  

Chances are excellent that this LSGS hangs around in the kitchen of this restaurant waiting for stupid American tourists to blunder in so she can walk out and pull this "hello pretty people you are amazing than you for gracing us with your presence" garbage.  And Americans being Americans, we find this obvious play-acting just plain delightful and Here's a Dollar Go Buy Candy For Your Whole Family-worthy.  Chances are also excellent that in another moment, that little girl runs off with the thousand-dollar iPhone the stupid charmed tourist inexplicably let her handle.  Ugh, stupid woman- first you get separated from the tour group, then you hand your phone to a total stranger?  I suggest you just stay home next vacation.

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