Sunday, September 4, 2022

Selling Out + Applebees: You Ain't Seen 'Nothin Yet


Yep, I'm picking on Applebee's again....

Because once again, we have a classic song- this one from the 70s- which simply does not fit as a pitch for the item being promoted.  I mean, think about it- we're being told that if we think we've seen everything, hold on because here's a deal that offers a piece of steak and a dozen jumbo shrimp served on a plate at America's favorite Bland Sit Down Food Restaurant for Middle Income Families.  

Here's something, here's something, here's something you're never gonna forget, baby: grilled steak and shrimp.  Yeah, you'll be talking about this for years- mostly to yourself, as you've frightened away all of your friends within the first few weeks, weirdo.

Jeesh, Appleby's, just stop.  Nobody thinks your food tastes so good that it's "unforgettable"- and if anyone does, it's probably the same person who can't stop raving about the Chocolate Wonderfall that they are positive existed at Golden Corral and isn't part of a false memory from the pre-COVID era.  It's not terrible food, but it's not "unforgettable" either.  In fact, it's actually designed to be more forgettable than memorable, as in "let's make food that leaves people with the dim memory of a decent meal that they are pretty sure they thought was ok and more importantly didn't cost all that much.  You know, a Perfectly Acceptable but Absolutely Unspectacular (and CERTAINLY not "unforgettable") dining experience that might as well be repeated because Hey It's Not McDonald's. 

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