Tuesday, April 20, 2010

"Take advantage of our offer. We dare you, wussy."

"Who's idea was this?" sneers the unseen narrator, as the camera slooooowwwwly zooms in on some new Dodge Gas-guzzling Behemoth. Sure, you can drive it for sixty days before you decide you want to keep it. But- sixty days? Who needs sixty days? Gays? Girly-men? Momma's boys? "Who is that indecisive?" concludes the thoroughly nasty disembodied voice.

"The sixty days even though you won't need it" ad campaign, I must admit, is a pretty bold move by Dodge. I mean, I expect my intelligence to be insulted by pretty much every commercial. But here's Dodge essentially telling me that the only way I would take advantage of their newest offer is if I have some kind of character flaw. Sure, you can bring it back- but if you do, expect to be sneered at and to have your manhood questioned.

Other companies ought to try this- coupons could come with little disclaimers letting you know that coupons are really stupid, and you'll look idiotic if you try to use one. New cars could come with two years of free oil changes- and a notation that only LOSERS change their oil that often- and you aren't a LOSER, are you?

Hey Dodge: I am not interested in buying one of your oversized crudmobiles. I don't want to drive one for one day, ten days or sixty days. I decided before the end of your commercial that I want nothing to do with you or your craptacular, smarmy, manipulative company.

Decisive enough for you?

1 comment:

  1. To think that Detroit still hasn't figured out why the industry went in the crapper. I shouldn't be surprised, though; they haven't learned anything since the Eisenhower administration.