Friday, May 13, 2011

The Game of "Life," Modern Version

A lot of people I know have Netflix accounts. I have no objection to the concept- after all, premium cable is still pretty expensive, and Video Rental Stores are becoming a relic of the past. I can see not wanting to stick your credit card into one of those Red Box deals outside of the local Seven-Eleven, too. Nope, I have no problem with Netflix.

But this- this is just wrong. In our first featured advertisement, Glassy-eyed mushrooms disguised as people whine about "never being able to afford all the games" they want, who are now so damn fulfilled because of something called, which allows one to rent all the video games one can waste one's life playing for one low monthly fee. Lovely. Because really, who could ever get enough quality time with their freaking television sets- and that couch isn't going to sit on itself!

And I love the "I just saved seventy bucks!" line--hmm, interesting economics there, buddy. You waste a certain amount of money on a pointless, life-sucking toy, and you congratulate yourself because you COULD have wasted a LOT more. I'll remember that logic the next time I have only ONE flat tire. As it's being changed, I'll happily calculate what I'm going to do with the money I "saved" because the other three weren't damaged.

The second ad is, if possible, even worse. Now the "adults" have joined in on endorsing this disgusting, brain-numbing waste of time, waxing poetic about how awesome it is that now all their children can play all the games they want and stop bothering them to be taken to the park, or to play catch in the back yard, or for pretty much anything except another helping of Stove Top Stuffing (come on- you just KNOW these people eat Stove Top Stuffing. And Wonder Bread.) GameFly is "perfect for our family..."-- well, yeah, because you aren't really a family, just a group of genetically connected, upright (when necessary) mammals who happen to live in the same house and really wish GameFly had been invented years ago.

Yep, GameFly should keep the kiddies distracted, giving mom and dad time to update their Facebook pages and surf for porn on the suddenly-available family computer. Sounds like "real family" fun to me.

Well, we've come a long way since Parker Brothers' "Family Board Game Night," haven't we? I sure feel dumb- a few weeks ago, I spent a good deal of my spring break playing Gin rummy with my mom. She's got a Netflix account, but not GameFly- which makes her less lame than I am, but still way below these people, who are having such an awesome time (and saving money!) staring at the Idiot Box as life goes on around them (somewhere.)

It's a sad world, and it's getting sadder. For only a small monthly fee.


  1. If these people were to die sitting in front of their devices, how long do you suppose it would take for people to notice?

  2. And we continue to wonder why there is an obesity epidemic in this country.

  3. "Gamefly is awesome because now we don't have to medicate Junior to put up with him. We give him free access to ordering these games and we hear nary a peep out of him. There was a scary moment last month, during some storms, when the power went out- but the hubby bought a generator and now we never have to put up with our demon spawn!"

  4. Dont you feel that it is hypocritical that you sit in front of a tv for 2 hours and watch a movie doing nothing but you dont find that wrong.But you find it wrong when people sit on their couch playing video games for 2 hours doing nothing.

  5. David- my parents are in their eighties, so I don't begrudge them their tv time. If I had Netflix and spent two hours a day watching movies, yes, I would consider myself a hypocrite for bashing people who play video games. But only a little- because I think playing video games when you are over 16 or so is a much bigger waste of time than watching movies. I wish the parents in these commercials weren't so enthusiastic about ANYTHING that encouraged their kids to be couch potatoes instead of active family members.

  6. I think they are payed to be so enthusiastic. And also I dont even know any parents that even know how to play any video games. And anyone playing video games instead of doing something like getting a job. Or going to college I agree is bad. But when you have nothing. To do and you have time to do whatever you want then I think people should be able to be free to do what they want.

  7. "I think playing video games when you are over 16 or so is a much bigger waste of time than watching movies."

    Well then, you're an idiot.

  8. Actually, it's called having an opinion which differs from yours, rogue. You might learn to get used to it before you venture out of the house.