Monday, May 16, 2011

People Suck. Technology Rocks. Message Received and Understood.

Moral of pretty much every advertisement featuring I-Pads, Smart Phones, Laptops and Blackberries: People are boring, and will suck the life right out of you with their insistence on attempting to make conversation unless you are armed with an electronic device strong enough to ward them off.

Now, of course, pretty much everyone has a cell phone these days which provides some level of protection from this annoying but thankfully dying societal expectation that when someone attempts to start a conversation with you, you are at least polite about it, even if you don't want to--oh, I don't know- take the opportunity to perhaps make a friend, or at least show some interest in the lives of the other sapiens who share the planet with you. Now you can stare at the little screen as you update your Facebook page, download videos (if you have surround sound, you get to share that video with everyone in the room, you choad) and otherwise pretend to be by yourself.

But HBO Now takes your determination to build a cocoon around yourself to a new level. Now you can whip out your I-Pad and watch violent movies, sex-driven series, and expletive-dominated comedy shows while sitting in your doctor's office, on the train, in the park, or anywhere else you were once in danger of coming into contact with (ewww) other people.

And it's a very good thing. Because later this evening, when the woman with the I Pad is asked by her significant other (assuming they concede the necessity of a conversation now and then) "how did the day go?", she can grunt something about being able to watch her favorite HBO programming while waiting for her appointment, not about this nice, though rather shy and socially awkward, woman she met and ended up reaching out to. Maybe she'll even express relief that she had HBO Go because OMIGOD THIS OTHER WOMAN THERE WAS SO BORING AND SHE KEPT TRYING TO TALK TO ME.

So thank you, HBO and Apple, for making that wall just a little bit higher, and that cocoon a little bit stronger. Now please, just once, show someone using ear buds while using one of your society-dissolving products. Consider it an early Christmas present.

1 comment:

  1. I wonder what the people who invented the cell phone think of how it's being used nowadays. It could well be that they're sort of ashamed of what they thought would be a beneficial invention.