Saturday, August 30, 2014
Warning: This Ad may be used to induce vomiting
"We've noticed that every once in a while, you stop watching tv, even though modern technology has made it possible to view All Your Favorite Shows anytime, anywhere! Well, we're going to do our best to encourage you to never, ever stop watching tv with this new offer combining something new called Viggle and something 'old' called DirectTV!
"Here's how it works! Just never stop gazing at whatever version of the idiot box you most like using to suck every last brain cell out of your head and avoid human contact! Do a little rubbing and scrolling and texting and replying as you waste what's left of your sorry-ass 'life" gazing at crap movies, tv shows and games and we'll reward you with money you can use for more electronic gizmos which - what do you know!- allow you to spend even MORE time allowing your body to atrophy into pudding as you absorb more and more media into your overly-stimulated yet dim as swamp water brain!"
"Tell your friends, if you still have any that are more than numbers on your Facebook counter, about this awesome service and get even more money and more points which can be used for more data and more wasted time, you worthless, easily-manipulated, mouth-breathing, couldn't-use-your-brain's-wattage-to-operate-a-keyring-light couch potato loser!"
Obesity is an epidemic. I can't IMAGINE why.