Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Another Golden Corral Ad (hey, it's been a while!)

What's the difference between a Seafood Restaurant and Golden Corral?

1.  At a seafood restaurant, the customers tend to be wearing clothes which suggest that they are doing something special.  Clothes like pants with zippers and shirts with buttons.  At Golden Corral you are far more likely to see customers wearing sweatpants and pullovers.  You should be grateful.  Believe me.

2.  At a seafood restaurant, you tell the waiter what you want and he brings it to you on a plate.  You eat what's on your plate and then the dinner experience is over.  At Golden Corral you bring your plate up to a trough with a sneeze guard, stand behind a few drooling yokels as they pick over the Fried Everything, and eventually load up with more food than you really want to eat, figuring you'll lose at least ten percent of it on the way back to your booth.

3.  At a seafood restaurant, you're likely to get food that used to swim around in the water.  At Golden Corral, whatever you end up eating spent a lot more time swimming around in grease and bread crumbs than H20.  In fact, at Golden Corral you'll be eating a lot more grease and bread crumbs than seafood.  And don't forget to save room for macaroons, the Chocolate Wonderfall and the Cotton Candy Machine!

4.  And oh yeah, there's the whole price thing.  At a decent seafood restaurant, you'll get pretty good food at a pretty high price.  I hope you don't react like these awful hicks.  At Golden Corral, you'll get really crappy food at a price which seems pretty low, unless you take the time to reflect on the quality of the junk you just ate, at which point you'll realize the price is pretty high.   But if you are a Golden Corral customer it's all about quantity not quality anyway, so no worries.

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