Friday, January 6, 2017

Sift Away, you lost me with "Watch This."


And you can't sell me on the idea that "everyone loves cats" or whatever piece of bs you start this ad with.  I'm in the universe which includes everyone, and I have zero interest in having one of these little mammals in my house, stinking the place up with their sandboxes of stench-filled poo.  Yuck.

Of course, dogs are even worse- especially in the suburbs, where the Joys of Ownership include walking the things around and picking up their leavings.  Yeah, that's attractive.  Why stop at one- I want at least a dozen dogs.  The more the merrier, right?

Anyway, I hope that nobody felt compelled to watch this awfulness.  It was too good to pass up for this site, but I wouldn't even wish the ad on a cat owner.  This must seem all too familiar to you.  I don't understand you at all and I'm quite sure I don't want to, but I am curious- do you really think that if you just sift away the horrible clumps you leave behind "clean" litter your nasty little pet will be just thrilled to use again and again?  Really?

1 comment:

  1. Personally, I love cats (yes, I'm insane), and have had at least one in my home for ages. But watching this ad, I can tell you the truth about this whole concept:

    1. No litter pan with slits or holes in it to "sift out the clumps" works as neatly and cleanly as implied. Not to be too detailed about it, but the clumps left behind don't just neatly spill into the trash as shown in this ad. They cling to the slotted pan like freakin' barnicles, and then you have to find a way to dislodge them so you can use the sifting pan again. And even if you do, trust me: There will be residue. There just will. And you'll have to wash it off or the slots/holes will plug up and the pan won't work anymore.

    2. "Cats are very fastidious animals," says the vet. Oh yeah, they've been selling us cat owners that line of bull for years. So explain to me why I sometimes have to check my cat's rear end to make sure no Klingons are still trying to hitch a ride on the Starship Enterprise. Yeah, I love her, but I don't want THAT on my lap when she comes to sit with me of an evening. Also, I suspect the "cats are very fastidious animals" explanation is just an excuse for why some, if their litter box is not kept scrupulously clean, will see that as a justification for relieving themselves elsewhere. "Sorry, slave, but you did not clean up my crap quickly enough, and if there's anything I cannot abide, it's having to have additional contact with the very crap I produced. So here, I'll do my business on your carpet instead."

    3. "1 bag of litter costs $20"? Huh?? Litter comes in various-sized bags (and boxes, and jugs). Saying "1 bag of litter costs $20" is like saying "One TV costs $2,000." No, all TVs don't cost $2,000. Maybe certain 60-inch TVs, with all the bells and whistles, but not all TVs. I probably spend $15 a month on litter, for one cat--not $100. True, more cats means you need to buy more litter, but if you've got more cats, this product isn't going to make your life any pleasanter by allowing you to "reuse the litter more times." Especially because if you have more than one cat, you need more than one box, and it's not like they're going to be really careful and each one will stick to using only one box you "assign" to it. They will all use all the boxes all the time as they see fit, which will just mean you need to completely change the litter in all of them regularly anyway.

    4. The "Splatter Shield" to "keep Kitty from making a mess"? That's a joke. What Kitty will do is poop directly on the shield, and if the poop doesn't roll out of the box thanks to that slanted shape, it will cling to the shield, again, like a barnacle. There's a reason I lay down a set of "puppy training pads" outside the litter box, and it's partly for that and partly because when Kitty has decided she doesn't feel like using the box for liquid relief, she can pee outside the box without doing any harm.

    In conclusion...I reiterate. I love cats. They are some of the most wonderful creatures God ever made. But unfortunately they will never be perfect until they learn to use the toilet. Because the litterbox is the price we pay for being able to sleep in late with them without having to worry about waking up in the morning to let them out/walk them. Nothing is going to make that aspect of cats easier, cleaner or more pleasant. If you think it will, I have some get-rich-quick and lose-weight-without-diet-or-exercise plans to sell you.