Wednesday, May 24, 2017

The next step is to have the entire area sealed in a plastic bubble

So this woman is planning an outdoor party and heads out to the patio for the first time in a couple of years (I'm assuming this based on the amount of dirt she finds on the table and chairs.)  I mean, the only alternative is that someone just happened to walk on to her patio, break the pot of dirt, and spread it all over the table and chairs.

Oh wait, there's one more alternative:  that this commercial simply does not tie in any logical way to reality.

Anyway, this woman's solution to a problem solved by 99 percent of us with a quick hosedown is to attach a bottle of chemicals to that hose and then spend what seems like an hour or so shooting high-pressure water mixed with that bottle of chemicals on to that table and chairs like a germophobic maniac so terrified at the idea that there might be a tiny speck of dirt left behind that she's willing to drown the patio in water and chemicals.

And never mind that she uses so much water on those cushions that there's no way anyone sits on them without getting their pants wet inside of six hours- the important thing is that there's NO MORE DIRT ANYWHERE.  Because dirt is the last thing we should be tolerating while we're outside.  WTF-ever, Scotts.  I'm not even going to go into the whole "Oh, Schmidt" thing.  Not even worth it.

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