Friday, July 20, 2018
Ancestry.com's Anthem to Ancestor Worship
The gag-inducing punchline of this awful, self-aggrandizing nonsense is "now I know where my strength comes from." I mean, seriously, never mind the syrup of Ipecac. All you'll ever really need is that awful line bleated by this clueless idiot.
So this woman didn't get her strength from her actual PARENTS- you know, the people who raised her and who played an actual, hands-on role in teaching her how to think of herself and deal with the world. She didn't get her strength from teachers or friends who encouraged her to push through hardships. OH NO, her strength was passed down THROUGH HER FREAKING DNA because once upon a time a woman who lived far, far away did something that required strength. Uh huh.
Hey, Stupid Idiot Whose Ancestors Were Obviously Morons (that's where you got THAT from:) If you actually believe that "strength" is passed down in the freaking gene pool, where did that Awesome Female Tribal Chief get HERS from? Was it just a mutated gene that originated with HER? I mean, can we be consistent about this for a minute? What's the gene for strength again?
Oh and hey SIWAWOM, while we're asking questions, where did your amazing ability to misplace credit come from? Did you have some maternal great-grandmother back in Zimbabwe who regularly thanked the rooster for making the sun come up? Just asking, because by your own logic, your rock-stupid determination to associate positive character traits with a long-dead ancestor must come from SOMEBODY, right?
Or maybe you've got the original mutated gene, and in three hundred years some idiot relative of yours will finally understand why she's such a clueless knob - it's because she's got some of your DNA?
I don't get the attraction to any of this. I "inherited" personality traits from my parents- because I spent a lot of time with them when I was a child, go figure. How the F--K could I "inherit" a personality trait from someone I never met and didn't know even existed until I inexplicably decided it would be a good idea to send a vial of spit to Lehi, Utah? Dark hair, sure. Height, fine. "Strength?" Freaking gag me.
One more quick note to the stunningly idiotic woman with the wistful "I'm important because someone related to me on the other side of the planet was important once" look on her face: No, you're not. Not until YOU actually do something. And no, obsessing over your ancestry doesn't cut it. All that proves is that you're stupid with money and really, really full of your non-achieving self.