Sunday, August 5, 2018
iPhone X demonstrates that being "powerful' isn't what it used to be
In 2018, according to our Lords and Masters over at Apple, the way to "Unleash a more powerful you" (and simultaneously attempt to rationalize that stupid decision to ignore the student loan bills and just go ahead What The Hell You Only Live Once and drop a thousand bucks on a stupid phone) is to get the iPhone X (guaranteed to be at least 1.5 % better than the last iPhone released two weeks ago.)
The only way this commercial could possibly end on a high note would be if this creep zombie who seems convinced that he is becoming more "powerful" by wandering through life playing with his ridiculously expensive little toy instead of, oh, I don't know, actually accomplishing something worthwhile stepped in front of a bus and made a big steaming mess in the middle of the street. That would provide work for a sanitation crew and food for crows and bacteria, finally making this little nub's existence meaningful, if only for a very brief moment.
At his virtual funeral, his online "friends," who never met him in "real" life, can wax poetic about how "powerful" he was whenever they challenged him to play whatever pointless game this guy was spending the final moments of his "life" staring at just before the bus sent the walking sack of meat into the next world. Good times.