Sunday, August 12, 2018

The Timeshare Exit Team- because for some people there's just no fixing stupid

Mike and Kelly were way too young and stupid to get married, and we learn this immediately when Kelly tells us they went on a honeymoon to Maui and decided they wanted to live there.

That's something children do- they visit some cool place and decide it's the bestest place in the word let's never leave.  Because they are children.  Adults are capable of understanding that places like Maui are for honeymoons and vacations and unless you want to tend bar or clean hotel rooms you can't really LIVE there.  Mike and Kelly let us know that they aren't adults, because...

Instead of just being satisfied with the whistful "we never want to leave" followed by the inevitable departure back to Reality, Mike and Kelly purchased a time share in Maui.  Because- did I explain this already?- Mike and Kelly are stupid children who don't just don't get the difference between vacations and real life.

As happens in approximately 100 percent of all timeshare purchases, regret sets in shortly after the ink dries.  Mike and Kelly are now expecting a child (these people always pass their stunted DNA on to the next generation.  Always) and realize Oh Yeah We Are Never Going To Actually Get To Use That Timeshare How Do We Get Out of This.  Never mind that there is no time in a person's life wher a timeshare "fits" in any way, shape or form.  They are never NOT a bad idea.

Anyway, these kids were stunned to find that getting rid of a timeshare is like trying to fob a cursed jewel off on the informed public- they have to stand in line behind several million other morons who can't believe how hard it is to convince someone else to take on the burden anyone with two brain cells to rub together won't go near.  People trying to dump timeshares must feel like the Last Really Stupid people standing on the very top of the Great Pyramid of Dumb- ok, I've got this white elephant, who do I get to hand it off too?

Fortunately there's no end of these Timeshare Liquidation companies which are willing to offer dumbasses like Mike and Kelly ten cents on the dollar to get them out from under their ridiculously childish impulse buy.  And Mike and Kelly will take it and be happy because they've got a Bundle of Joy on the way which will, unfortunately, have to get by with genes they can donate to it.  Poor kid.

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