Monday, August 6, 2018
A Perfectly Revolting Corona Commercial
I wish I could tell you how glad I am that these perfect people gathered around a perfect house* in a perfect setting had the ingenuity to keep their evening perfect even the universe went off kilter and a candle went out (how on Earth did that happen to these perfect people?)
I can't tell you how pleased I am that one of these perfect people thought to turn on his phone and then put a bottle of beer on it to simulate a candle, attracting the appreciative smiles of his pretty, perfect friends. Because it makes so much more sense to use that lithium battery than to, oh, I don't know, light a match or better yet just let it be slightly darker at your table .
I can't tell you any of that because I'm too busy wishing that a truck-sized meteorite would crash into that house and vaporize everything within 100 square meters. Leaving a perfect crater, of course.
*which appears to be completely empty, yet has enough lights on to be seen from space. Sucking the life out of the electrical grid. Using a phone powered by a lithium battery instead of lighting a match. These people are really working hard at being part of the problem, aren't they?