Sunday, November 4, 2018
This Verizon Fios creep brings out the worst in me
1. So JD Power hands out awards to crappy truck companies AND internet cable systems? Well, isn't that something. And it turns out that two people pay attention to JD Power's rankings- the scruffy Eurotrash douchenozzle whose entire acting career involves pretending to keep Real People Not Actors in suspense about the make of the truck he's showing them, and this squishy little creep.
2. Why is this blob of protoplasm congratulating the installation guy on a reward "won" by his employer? Why does he think the installation guy gives a flying damn? What is this kid going to do next- head down to McDonald's and high-five the guy cleaning the windows because McDonald's is the world's largest fast food chain for the 40th year in a row?
3. If I turned around and saw this smear of molecules standing next to me, I think I'd jump out of my shoes, not respond with a a calm, casual "hey." Once I got over my morbid curiousity, I might ask him why he's so obsessed with a cable company- seriously, shouldn't this creep be back in his house playing video games? I mean, it DOES look like a nice day there. What is he doing outside?
4. "Want me to watch the van?" What the hell? It's easy to imagine that this -- umm-- "person" engaged in conversation with the cable guy as a ruse with the ultimate goal of stealing installation equipment to put under his pillow or perhaps hang on the wall of his bedroom to swoon over in private. This is really getting disturbing, Verizon. Not as disturbing as that kid, all by himself, but disturbing.