Chewy.com's weird slice of life

1. No way this guy owns a pet.  I mean, look at that house.  That's a bacteria-free zone.  Seriously, you could synthesize medication in that house.  Animals?  No freaking way.

2.  Get a load of the super-enthusiastic chewy.com operator.  It's like she never had any aspirations higher than helping some jackass on the other end of the line buy pet food.  That's just sad.

3.  "What do I do with all this old pet food?"  Holy crap, can you take care of any problems yourself, ridiculously clean man in ridiculously clean house with pets?  Seriously, what is wrong with you?