SCOTTeVEST: Another product you'd never admit to owning...

Because the only reason you ever leave ANYTHING at home when you go for a walk is because you don't have enough pockets?

Seriously, WTF? Why would anyone need to carry so much crap around with them all the time?  Why would anyone WANT to carry around another 10-15 lbs of electronics, sunglasses, water bottles, novels, playing cards, notepads, mace, jacknives, Mentos, candy bars etc. while they are taking a walk?

And "breeze through the airport?"  Not so fast there, buddy- if you've got anything electronic larger than an iPhone in there, you're going to have to take it out and place it in a seperate bin anyway.  And if you've got fifteen different items in fifteen different pockets in that vest, get ready to stand at the Security Station for ten minutes after you've gone through the detector yourself while three agents molest your vest before handing it to you with sympathetic, condescending looks on their faces.

The most realistic parts of this ad are the ones that feature middle-aged guys wearing the vests.  I can totally see this being something Men of a Certain Age wear because they are beyond giving a damn what anyone thinks or have long since past that stage where they hang out with guys who judge their clothing style.  The guys who would wear those Forever Lazy full-body pajamas in public would be very happy in SCOTTeVESTS.  Anyone younger than 40 wouldn't be caught dead in one of these things unless they are already friendless and have totally given up on the idea of actually forming a meaningful connection with a fellow human being.  Well, at least they've got their electronic cocoons with them....in one of these pockets.....damn, I forgot which pocket I put my phone in again!  There goes the next twenty minutes!!

*I actually have a pretty good idea for a motto to be used in future SCOTTeVEST commercials: "SCOTTeVEST:  Now you can fall down, not get hurt, and still be out thousands of dollars!"