Thursday, November 28, 2019

Dominion Energy reminds us what we have to be thankful for.

"I have to go, honey.  I have to go Defend Our FreedomsTM."

"Defend our freedoms from who?  Who wants to take our freedoms away?"

"Um...bad people.  But don't worry, they live on the other side of the planet."

"So how are they threatening our freedoms?  Why do you have to go fight them?"

"We need to Fight Them There So We Don't Have To Fight Them HereTM."

"But why do you have to go?  How are you going to fight them?  Why can't you just be home for Thanksgiving?"

"Because Freedom Isn't FreeTM."

"But how are the bad people trying to take our freedoms?  And why do you keep talking in trademarked Cliche'-speak?"

"Got to go.  Wear this hat and think of me- you dad who can't be home because I'm well, you know, Freedoms and all that.  These Colors Don't RunTM."

"Why do I get the feeling this has something to do with an energy company, and that the freedom Daddy is fighting for has to do with profits?  Oh well, this is a nice hat, and so far he's always come back alive, and pictures of me in this hat make the easily-manipulated YouTube Sheep swoon, so...."

1 comment:

  1. The only substantive difference between these jerks and Tangerine Shitgibbonn is that he doesn't soften the blow with feel-good stuff like this. He flat out says that he wants to take oil.