Sunday, November 17, 2019
Fios + Holiday + Disney = A Sad Commercial, Right from the Start
1. "One thing I love about Disney, its that everyone can be a princess."
WTF? Why would anyone WANT to be a Disney princess? Disney princesses are, with very few exceptions, Trophies to be on the screen to have dreamy eyes and look pretty while they wistfully imagine being saved by a Big Strong ManTM. If you think that's something worth aspiring to, please don't have kids. Especially daughters. But no sons, either. Don't have sons. Don't have kids at all.
2. "My TV is pretty much always playing a Marvel movie..." expand your horizons. You are an infantile rut. I mean, at least you didn't say "DC Comics" movie, but obviously that wasn't going to happen because we all know who owns Marvel. Still...you have a Peter Pan complex and you need to stop bragging about it and start getting therapy for it.
3. "Star Wars is everything. It's my life" says a little kid who is way too young to be making such "deep" observations about himself. And his father is standing right there, listening to this. Red Flag, dad. Not something you should be chuckling at- especially if early whispers about The Rise of Skywalker are to be taken seriously.) Especially since this kid isn't old enough to have seen anything but the last two abominations in the theater. If THOSE films made Star Wars "everything" to him, well...I mean, they weren't the Prequels, but still....
(OMG I'm nine seconds into this thing...)
4. Another adult is telling us how her favorite Disney Princess (we're back to that again?) is Pocahontas. Ok fine, maybe you saw it when you were very young, and she's the first-ever Princess of Color and that appealed to you, never mind that it followed the same tired Magic Natives Talking to Trees and Animals bit we've seen in a dozen other (racist) films.
Anyway, I'm done. The Patriots are on, I've got a stack of tests I must return to students tomorrow, and I'm assuming that at any moment I'll be told that my report card comments aren't QUITE good enough and need a few minor revisions, shouldn't take more than a couple of hours...I'm out.