Thursday, November 28, 2019
Mercedes-Benz "Negotiation" Commercial is (hopefully) as bad as it can get
I'd like to suggest that this fat little creep needs a good kick in the pants followed by a lesson in decency a lot more than he needs an overpriced LookAtMeMobile, but Santa would have to hang around to provide that lesson in decency as the kid's parents certainly are not up to the task.
"It would be a real shame if this went viral." Um, would it? Only if you think the planet is filled with shallow, mentally challenged morons who think that every fat, bearded guy in a red suit is Santa Claus. That's the only way anyone gives a flying damn about a shot of a guy with a wide ass dressed up like Santa Claus "goes viral." Which means "Santa's" response makes zero sense. He ought to tell that kid "go ahead and put it on the web, nobody gives a damn because nobody over the age of eight believes in Santa, you f--ng idiot."
Better yet, he ought to say "I'm your father, stupid. I'm just having fun. But thanks for demonstrating that you have no business being in possession of a phone with YouTube access. I'm taking it back. You can have your own phone when you get a job and pay for it yourself.
Unless he actually IS Santa. In that case, he should stick with Option A and just tell the kid to f--k off and post the "compromising" photo. And then repack all those gifts and tell the kid the entire house is on his Naughty List, permanently. After all, the parents of this nasty fungus raised him to act like this, right? And not only that-- Santa can peer into the future and see exactly how they'd react to their cruddy spawn getting a car that costs more than the average yearly salary by blackmailing St. Nicholas. Massive fail on all levels. F--k this kid, F--k his parents, and F--k Mercedes-Benz for soiling my television with this abomination.