Monday, November 23, 2020

Kaiser Permanente's "Thrive" Commercial makes me want to shop for funeral homes


 Pardon me for feeling more than a little attacked by these Kaiser Permanente "thrive" commercials which celebrate the fact that SEVERAL people throughout recent history actually accomplished some amazing things DESPITE the fact that they were (GASP! REALLY? I demand to see the raw data!) in their FIFTIES.

I can only assume that each of these people were consuming the blood of young virgins during weekly Satanic ceremonies or had simply sold their souls to the devil in exchange for the gift of unnatural powers at such advanced ages.  I mean, Ernest Hemingway WROTE A BOOK at the age of FIFTY-TWO?  Clearly SOME black magic was at work- everyone knows that the average person who has NOT made an unholy pact with a demon is barely capable of getting out of bed at FIFTY-TWO!

No comments:

Post a Comment