Saturday, November 21, 2020

Remember when life was Tacless?

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Every time I turn around, there's another cheap piece of crap with the word "tac" tacked on to it (hey, that works...)  Tac lights, Tac Sunglasses, Tac portable chargers....and now "Tac Shavers."  As a very intelligent YouTube commentator (now that's a rarity) noted, we seem to be living in an era where just adding the letters "tac" to the As Seen on TV product is supposed to turn it from junk to Must-Have.

Because you never know when you'll be submerged in a swimming pool and suddenly feel the overwhelming urge to shave.

Because you can't be asked to find time to shave while you're actually at home, so you need this thing sitting in your glove compartment so you can run it over your face while stuck in traffic or sitting in the parking lot of a box store or wherever.

Because your last ounce of awareness that you're living in a society died a long time ago (around the time you had that $5000 earthquake-causing Suburbs-Shattering sound system installed in your car because everyone within 20 miles should know the kind of music you like listening to at 2 AM) and you just don't give a flying damn what anyone thinks of you anymore.  It's why you don't care if the people in the next lane see you shaving with one hand and staring at your cell phone with the other while you're supposed to be paying attention to the road (last week, a guy on the beltway was cruising along in the center lane at 30 MPH while propping a tablet against the steering wheel.  Because FU world, I guess.)  

Because you think "made with the needs of the military in mind" is a great argument to buy anything.  The customers of this product AREN'T in the military.  They don't need to be able to shave while standing in the pouring rain- I doubt they ever even need to shave while submerged in water.  I mean, what soldier is going to find himself in that situation and think "I need a shave?" anyway?  

Set your alarm 5 minutes earlier and shave your fricking face in your fricking house with a regular, house-bound razor, you morons.  

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