Sunday, July 3, 2022

Cirkul is the ultimate in First World Products


Look, pretty much everyone needs to drink more water.  The great majority of Americans walk around every day dehydrated, and we tend to react to our thirst by misinterpreting it as hunger and consuming excess calories (yes, Dehydration is strongly linked to the obesity epidemic.)  A large percentage of headaches, body aches, muscle pulls, etc. are also caused by dehydration.  Every day millions of Americans respond to a headache by taking two pills and a glass of water- when all they need is the glass of water.  Americans (including me. Especially me.) drink way too much coffee, which contributes to dehydration, which again we respond to by eating and/or taking drugs.  

In short, this is a real problem that calls for a real solution.  But because this is the year 2022, the solution "drink more water" isn't good enough, because water is "boring" (and if it doesn't taste good out of the tap, you aren't going to drink it no matter how aware you are that you should.)  Bottled water is expensive- it has not been spared by inflation, believe me.  Brita filters are expensive.  I'd LOVE to have one of those water delivery services deliver 20 gallons or so of water to my own personal cooler systems every month, but that's not going to happen.  So anything that encourages people to look beyond the inconveniences and consume more water is going to get a pretty strong pass from me.

This is just weird, though.  It's a water bottle with a little flavor filter that can be adjusted to make the flavor being added stronger or weaker by turning a plastic dial that I'm sure breaks after a dozen or so uses and even if it doesn't, the fruit flavor powder stuff doesn't dissolve properly and starts clogging it- again, after a dozen uses or so.  And then you've got another addition to the landfill that won't break down for a few million years.  And for some reason- I suspect there's a "cool/hip/trendy" factor here- this is superior to just adding a squirt of flavoring to your regular water bottle or getting a bottle with a wider mouth so you can add a few slices of fruit...I suspect there's also a "convenience" factor here, and as we all know Americans Are Way Too Busy To Do Anything These Days, including handling a water bottle that isn't cool/hip/trendy/convenient.

I'm not going to be purchasing this stupid gimmicky nonsense.  I like flavored water, but I can buy flavored water or add my own flavor, I don't need a special bottle with a dial and a special set of flavorings I'll have to be ordering all the time because I know Me, I'll stop doing that and this will just become another water bottle with a stupid dial on the top.  But you do you- and if you're a typical dehydrated American, you'll get caught up in what this ad suggests is the Super Awesome World of Exciting Flavored Water.  At least you'll be less dehydrated, and maybe a bit less likely to try to treat your thirst with a two-for-$5 special at Burger King or a grease bucket from KFC.

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