Tuesday, September 12, 2023

Bet365, Lose 365


"Do you wanna bet on live sports?"  If the answer is "yes," the next line should be "why?  Can't find a hobby that WON'T put everything in your life that you value at serious risk?"

Instead, it's a tornado of gaudy imagery which makes your desire to bet on live sports look exciting and fun and (based on this guy's cadence) downright masculine.

"Join now and discover the POWER of the world's Favorite Sports Book!"  Like the power to get you hooked faster than alcohol or crack? Like the power to destroy your finances, relationships, and basically everything that currently makes your life worth living?  Well, that certainly does sound powerful.  Attractive?  Not really.  But powerful?  Absolutely.

"Build your own Bet."  That does sound better than "Dig your own Grave" or "Choose your own Poison," I'll give you that....

"You can even bet on games that are still being played."  Dramatic Pause and stare into the camera.  "Seriously."

This is new?  I've seen commercials for betting apps that allow one to bet inning by inning.  Might as well walk into an AA meeting and remind the participants that they don't have to guzzle that bottle of Scotch in two minutes; they can get drunk one shot at a time.  "Seriously."

"And if you can't watch the games live, we'll alert you of any changes."  "So you can take advantage of that gun or balcony you find yourself on when you realize that you won't be able to pay your mortgage this month.  Again."  (Naturally, the ad features a guy being delighted by the update.  Because just like in Vegas, betters never lose, right?)

"Let's end by reiterating that this is the world's favorite sports app.  And let's take a moment to thank the current generation of bored, lonely and economically unstable people who make garbage like this popular, and the incredibly lax regulations which allow us to pitch this life-destroying nonsense on network tv."


  1. The house always wins. People forget this at their peril. It's why I call lotto the stupidity tax.

    1. It would be more honest if these online betting companies just read from the same script used by "tax relief" and "car warranty" companies: "Due to a decline in the economy, we've created a service designed to take advantage of your increased level of anxiety and mixed it with healthy doses of gullibility and Fear of Missing Out."

  2. And does Bet365 really think this creepy, evil-appearing and sounding actor and the whole Gotham City ambience of the commercial is a solid selling point? A more ominous thought is that their market research must indicate that it is effective because I see ads from this campaign about a dozen times a day here in Ohio, one of the states where unfettered sports gambling is now a way of life and these shameless vultures are circling overhead.