Tuesday, April 9, 2024

Taco Bell's Sad, Not at all Relatable Commercial


This Taco Bell ad is here to remind us that at least one of the ultra-processed garbage grease-and-meat-and-cheese offerings available on it's After Midnight Menu is not just available After Midnight.  It's actually available any time you need to deaden the dull, throbbing pain that is your life with a quick dopamine hit followed by an even bigger crash into the bowels of despair.

So don't save Taco Bell for the usual I Drank Too Much and Struck Out as Usual at the Party binge while sitting alone in the parking lot (please remember that when it's late at night, you might not want to eat this stuff while sitting in the parking lot.  Might be safer to eat it back home, or while driving home.  Actually, the safest option is to not eat it at all, but we're way past that, aren't we?)  America's Favorite Faux Tex-Mex Pig Trough is there for you pretty much any time your soul needs a shot of Novocaine in the form of empty carbs before you head home, alone, again.  

I thought that this was what IHOP was for.  Is the price of pancakes and coffee just too much for the new generation?  Well, what happened to 7-11 and a Big Bite hot dog and bag of chips?  Those used to be the go-to places for the late-night Alone Again, Naturally munchies.  I mean, that's what I've heard.  From other people.  Sad people.  

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