Chase Bank and David, Perfectly Stupid Together

 

We start off with David being annoyed that he has to ask his dumb, expensive toy to turn the lights on TWICE.  Because David is ridiculous, and because nobody told David that he didn't need to buy that stupid expensive toy and could have turned the lights on by flipping a freaking switch.  But David wants to be cutting edge and he wants to bitch about it, so here we are.

I guess David can't tell his coffee maker to operate- maybe he just wasn't willing to risk having to ask twice- so he walked down the street and tried to buy coffee at the shop.  Because we are forever jousting with straw men here, David goes to the only cafe in the world where a robot actually creates your coffee for you and is again disappointed by technology.  Hey David, how many coffee shops run by actual humans did you walk past so you could make that cross you're carrying a little heavier?

David finally arrives at Chase, and he's there for all of three seconds before an attractive young woman walks up to greet him and guide him into an office to talk about David's Money.  He must be a new client.  She sits with him at a desk featuring a big computer display reading David's Goals in huge letters because everyone in this commercial is five years old.  And BECAUSE David is five years old, he has exactly two goals- a new car, and a vacation. 

David is a dunce who already is carrying around an Attitude concerning the minor burdens he's given himself to carry, and now he's told Chase that his real problem is that he doesn't have any actual plans for navigating the future, he just wants Christmas to come early.  Personally, I'd be ashamed to tell my broker that my "goals" are to go on a vacation and buy a new car.  Hey David, how about planning for retirement?  

What we don't see is the broker telling David that the best way to plan for his stupid spending goals is to cut back on the purchase of dumb, showy electronics and $8 coffees and to learn how to turn on his own damn lights and make his own damn coffee.  What a knob you are, David.