Here he is again, everyone's favorite AT&T shill, that guy whose brother played Hansel in Zoolander and some tiny cowboy dude in two Night at the Museum flicks. This time, Owen Wilson's brother is standing under a huge map which I guess has become the phone company's new logo, "popping up" in front of big-screen tvs, in malls, etc. etc. Hoping that the commercial audience is distracted by the safety hazard hanging over Owen's brother, Owen's brother delivers a spectacularly illogical answer to Verizon's "charge" that it covers more people and more places than AT&T:
"Verizon's been telling people that they provide more coverage than AT&T. But when you look closer, their story really doesn't hold together." Bits of the giant map over Owen's brother begin to fall off. "Doesn't hold together"- Get It?
"But lets take a look at the facts. AT&T covers more than 230 million people. With AT&T, you can talk and surf the web at the same time. And, AT&T has the coolest phones."
The rest of the map collapses all around Owen's brother. "I'm glad I could clear that up."
Welcome ladies and gentlemen to Non Sequitur Theatre! Despite the giant map and the crashing red marble things coming down, I couldn't help but notice that the magician never did manage to pull the rabbit out of the hat at the end of the ad. Owen's brother pretends to take on the charge against Verizon- then changes the subject. AT&T covers more than 230 million people- is that more than Verizon? Mr. Wilson doesn't say. Does Verizon claim that it's phones allow you to surf the web and talk at the same time? No. Does Verizon claim to have the "coolest phones?" Well, maybe, but isn't "coolest" kind of a subjective term?
What Verizon did claim was that it provided more coverage in more places- and Owen Wilson's brother never even attempts to dispute this claim. He just dismisses it by pointing out the attributes of the cool, web-surfing AT&T phones. Total fail.
Let's try this on for size:
"You know, my neighbor says his car gets better gas mileage than mine does. I'd like to set the record straight. My car gets great gas mileage. Also, it's blue, and has XM radio. I'm glad I could clear that up for you."
Maybe I should just give this guy a break. I mean, its got to be tough to be the lesser-talented Wilson brother. Especially when it's becoming increasingly clear that My Super Ex-Girlfriend II doesn't appear to becoming to a theater near me anytime soon.
Maybe Owen will let you hand him his spurs in Night at the Museum III?