Saturday, January 23, 2010

They're both thinking, 'this has to work, 'cause I'm not going through this shit again.'

Match.com commercial- cute blonde girl is staring at herself in the lady's room mirror, checking her teeth for food particles. Narrator: "She's thinking, 'this date is going really well.'"

Average-looking guy is staring at himself in the men's room mirror, picking at his limp hair. Narrator: "He's thinking, 'what is with my hair?'"

Cute girl and average guy synchronize their exits from the restrooms perfectly- and fall into a passionate kiss. Right there- right in front of the lavatories. How romantic.

Narrator: "They are both thinking, 'this is the beginning.'"

Ugh, Ugh! Where to start? First- from "this date is going really well," I think it's fair to assume that this is their first date. They've just eaten at a restaurant. During the meal, they probably got to know each other a little bit- common interests, hobbies, some insight to what drove them to risk utter humiliation and emotional ruin by signing up with Match.com, etc.- and they seem to have some level of chemistry. Yes, it's going really well.

But I'm sorry- no first date carried out by ordinary human beings includes a fall-into-eachother's-arms-in-front-of-the-restroom passionate kiss. One of these people is the kisser, the other is the kissee. The kissee got what may or may not be a nice surprise. The kisser just announced how desperate he or she is to make this the Beginning of not A long-term relationship, but THE long-term relationship. The LAST one. EVER.

That kiss just screams "I'm done looking. There's nothing after Match.com. It's the Supreme Court of dating- the final say. If this doesn't work out, I die alone. I'm not dying alone. So here's your lip-lock. Consider yourself Mine." Scary.

In real life sane, rational people don't make a "ok, this is it, let's go pick out rings tomorrow" gesture during a first date. Unless they are my former students ;>).

(Sorry, inside joke there.)

1 comment:

  1. you mean the commercial with the not-so-cute blonde girl, and the hot guy : ) yes, its a stupid commercial

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