Sunday, August 2, 2015

Oh please....

1.  Groom discovers that everything isn't perfect for his wedding day- the ceremony had been planned for the top of a mountain, probably he and his bride's favorite spot on the planet, maybe even where they first met.  Considering the number of chairs, the plan was for a very, very small wedding and darn, it wouldn't you know it- while the weather was fine during set-up, by the time of the actual ceremony it was just pouring and windy as hell.

No problem- instead of showing any sign of being able to change plans, Groom just piles everyone attending the wedding- again, this is a VERY small wedding party- into his LookAtMeMobile, making it the first time ever he can actually justify owning the damn thing.  The Happy Couple get married exactly where they planned, never mind the rain coming in sideways and the chairs flying everywhere and the ring girl being tossed by the 80-MPH winds to her death (ok, so that's not actually shown, but still....)

2.  Bride thinks this is all wonderful.  Ok, stop right there.  I've been to plenty of weddings, and I've seen a lot of brides as they've prepared for weddings.  There is no freaking way that this woman is happy about this rain-soaked rush job.  Unless her new hubby has promised a do-over in a few months at some tropical or otherwise intensely exotic location, I'm not buying her reaction at all.  Jeesh, my fiancee almost killed her best friend because she didn't hurl herself out the window when she pricked her finger and drew blood while working on her dress.  Later, she threw a hissy fit when we got into the Just Married car and found that it had been playfully filled with balloons.  If it had rained during the ceremony, I'm sure she would have killed at least several people and blamed me for not willing the clouds away.  And our wedding was held INSIDE.

1 comment:

  1. Your way would require the ad man to allow the woman agency as a human being. They've no more interest in that than Tom Batiuk has....which is why this thing isn't the blushing bride mowing the imbecile down in the FU-mobile.