Tuesday, November 15, 2016
Thanks for nothing, KIA
"So feel free to let your mind wander as you cruise down suburban streets in your KIA, confident in the knowledge that if you start to drift out of your lane, your car will wake you out of your irresponsible fantasy world with an electronic beep and a tiny indicator light on your driver's side mirror."
"Of course, this little safety feature will do absolutely nothing to save the child who darted in front of your daydreaming ass, but hey we at KIA can't do everything, and that's what high-pressure hoses and dent-repair shops are for, right? So please, continue to be a totally irresponsible douchenozzle with your car, endangering the lives of everyone around you because you simply can't be bothered to stay alert while operating heavy machinery and thought that you were being safe because you were driving a KIA and hey at least you weren't texting or watching a movie on your phone."
Explanation for the court and comforting words for the grieving parents of the kid you ran over while indulging in your childish daydreaming not included.