Sunday, November 13, 2016

You just know this guy is going to spend the entire winter in the garage waxing his riding mower...

1.  At first, I thought that the "thank you" might end up being ironic/snarky, as in "thank you for using that ridiculous piece of machinery and spewing noise pollution while pointlessly consuming precious resources instead of oh, I don't know, a fucking broom which would work practically as quickly but wouldn't require ear protection and might not make me, your neighbor from two blocks over, aware that you are 'working' in your driveway."

2.  So because this guy is spending all of fifteen seconds interrupting the conservations and reading and sleeping and just plain being alone with one's thoughts with his Clearly Invented By a Sociopath leaf-blowing apparatus, he'll be able to take tomorrow off and watch football?  Seriously?  Because I can see the driveway and it's pretty damned obvious that fifteen seconds might be on the generous side when trying to determine how long it's going to take to clear it of leaves.  Does it take a lot longer on Sunday?  If so, why?

3.  "Don't get cocky."  Yeah, don't.  Because you're still a total douche who has bought in to the idea that because you've got yourself a suburban spread and a postage stamp of a lawn, you must stock your garage with ridiculously unnecessary pricey junk which allows you to pretend that the "upkeep" of this financial anchor is in any way a drain on your precious time.  After you've spent fifteen seconds blowing the leaves off your lawn, you going to take the gas trimmer out and manicure the hedges again, aren't you?  Because you can't quite justify putting the lights up quite yet and can't bear being in the house with the wife and kids, huh?

4.  The commercial isn't even for the product being shown.  WTF is that all about?

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