Sunday, August 13, 2017

Xfinity's Not-So-Brave New World



The woman is this ad is singing the virtues of nonstop "connectivity," from the moment she rises (and before she actually gets out of bed) to the end of the day, when she meets up with the ugly choad she's decided is "cute" enough for her, or at the very least better than those other guys she flung away with a swipe of her finger because she could.

The most amazingly wonderful thing about the world and her life is that her phone "evolved" with her, so now every single thing she does- from ordering a total stranger to pick her up in an unfamiliar car to picking out someone to breed with- can be done with one little hand-held device.  She can even do really STUPID things (even more stupid than using phones to get rides from strangers or pick out potential life partners) like make flowered crowns to wear at the movies, or something.  I don't know what that's all about, and I'm pretty sure I don't care, because this is a pretty stupid woman.

In the end she's super-happy with Mr. "he's cute" (which sounds a lot like "he'll do") which tells me that this woman is really into stupid-looking doofuses who are obviously going to be bald before they get near 30, but hey to each her own.  Not as much as she's into worshipping her phone, though.  Not even close.

2 comments:

  1. And they're forcing this on EVERYONE.
    A-a-a-aann-nd ...
    ...no-one gives a shit---and are enthusiastically EMBRACING it, no less.

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    Replies
    1. Apparently phones should carry disclaimers from the Surgeon General: WARNING! Excessive Use of Phones May Cause You To Find Grinning, Horse-Faced Slobs "Cute!"

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