Saturday, May 5, 2018
Botox Treatments: When you don't know what you got till it's gone
The guy in this ad is a rich, successful architect with a big house and a beautiful child. He has his health, as evidenced by the fact that we see him jogging through the woods. Looks to me like he's got it all.
Oh, but he also has "moderate to severe" crow's feet and frown lines to go along with the gray in his beard,* and there's this young guy at the office he feels threatened by, so he's going to go through botox treatments which carry the risk of these symptoms: Difficulty breathing, swallowing, eye problems, muscle weakness, all of which could be signs of a life-threatening condition. Side effects may include "rash, welts, asthma symptoms and dizziness."
Oh, there's more you may have missed because it was partially drowned out by the punchy music: treatments may cause some kind of pain I could not catch no matter how many times I listened, plus "eyelid drooping" and "eyelid swelling."
"The details make the difference, the man makes them matter" is the glorious punchline. I have another one: what kind of cretin would be willing to make his little girl an orphan in exchange for a few more years of looking like a slightly younger Eurotrash version of his true self? Hey, buddy- that little kid who loves and depends on you? She doesn't notice your crow's feet. She might notice all those horrible side effects you are risking because you can't deal with getting older. Something to think about: This isn't all about you. Not anymore. Not since you had that kid. Dicktard.
*A simple hair coloring to take the gray out of the beard seems to be the last thing this guy considers- first, botox injections that might destroy his health, THEN Just for Men haircolor. Yeah, this makes total sense.