Sunday, January 19, 2020

A few pointers for this ugly Pepsi Commercial Dork

1.  It's perfectly fine with me if no one ever, ever lets you forget that you made a total ass of yourself for a few moments of TV "fame" in a Pepsi Commercial.  You asked for it, after all.

2.  In real life, you get to pull crap like this for exactly as long as it takes to be appreciated by the Jumbotron, and then by the crowd.  When you try to extend your moment beyond that by starting your pathetic begging for attention all over again, it's just super-cringey and the crowd stops rooting for you, and starts feeling sorry for you instead.

In other aren't why we bought our tickets.  Sit the f--- down.  Shut the f--- up.  And for this guy in particular:  see a doctor about that massive growth between your mouth and your forehead before it applies for freaking Statehood.


  1. Exactly. We're here to see the subpar gladitorial combat staged by tinsel overlords.

  2. This reminds of that old Simpsons episode when Homer's dancing during a minor league ballgame got him promoted to official team mascot and after awhile nobody cared anymore and he went back to being a nobody