Friday, January 24, 2020

Stouffer's offers us a choice

Want to enforce a "no phones at the dinner table" rule in your house?  Well, you have two options:

1.  You can be actual parents who raise your kids to be something other than antisocial, technologically addled cell phone addicts who understand boundaries like "when you are at the dinner table, you don't answer or look at your cell phone,'re at the dinner table."  The great thing about this option is that it could actually result in your kids being well-balanced human beings who get priorities and realize that staring at/responding to their phones is not their Reason for Existing.

2.  You could serve your kids their Very Favoriteist Food at every meal, hoping they love it so much that not only will they eat it in slow motion and act like they've been transported to some blissful heaven with every bite, but they'll actually forget that their cell phone- which is going to be right on the table regardless- even exists. 

Your choice, "parents."  I'll just warn you, though- if you choose Option 2, and sit there in frozen horror when the cell phone buzzes wondering if that slop you served up is good enough to do what you are apparently incapable of doing- those quotation marks are going to stay around the word "parents."  Also, if your kids are this distracted by frozen trash lasagna they aren't just going to be ignoring that cell phone, but you as well- too bad if you thought that Family Dinner was going to mean Conversation.  And one more thing- in ten minutes, those kids are going to be done with their lasagna and back on those phones unless you grow a spine and move to Option 1. 

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