Monday, May 18, 2020
Get your own Spot the Robot Dog Today!
Look for these improvements to be included in the private-purchase version of Spot the Robot Dog:
1. It will automatically run up to strangers and knock them down. Owners will be able to record a message to be played when (not if) this happens which announces "he's just being friendly, he loves people."
2. It will leave "presents" consisting primarily of oil clumps and just enough digestible fiber to attract insects all over your lawn.
3. It will bark repeatedly at falling leaves, passing cars, and basically everything else. It will respond to your "hush" with up to thirty seconds of silence before repeating its "bark at everything" loop.
4. It will run around the dinner table at family gatherings barking at a special High Volume to remind you exactly where it is at all times. The "hush" feature is automatically turned off during these times.
5. Planned obsolescence is built right in, to provide you with the Full Experience of being a pet owner. Expect to spent at least $1000 per year on replacement parts.
The very best thing about your Spot the Robot Dog is that when it finally does break down for good, you can just throw it in the trunk alongside your dead lawn mower and bring it to the recycling center for disposal. No messy vet fees or sad backyard funerals!