Monday, May 4, 2020
Zales "Our Love is a Diamond" ad: Once again, it's all about the rock
"Our love is so unique, so special, so different. that we decided to celebrate it in the most corporate-approved manner possible. We bought a diamond."
"Um, what? Who is this 'We?' I bought you a diamond, because you said that even though you loved me more than anyone you had ever loved ever, and wanted to spend the rest of your life with me, you weren't going anywhere near an actual legal commitment until you got a rock. Which I paid for. ME. With MY money."
"Our love is a diamond!"
"What the hell does that even mean? Our love is a cold, hard piece of suffocated coal?"
"Look how it sparkles! It's a celebration of our love!"
"It's a celebration of pointless excess that sets our house-purchasing fund back about two months."
"Two months? Only two months? Why you dirty, cheap little...you went to ZALES, didn't you!!"
"I knew I should have switched boxes."