Saturday, May 16, 2020
MakeSpace Commercials should come with Parental Guidance Suggested warnings
Eventually, the woman in this ad got sick of watching the guy in this ad systematically destroy everything they worked so hard to achieve, with immaculate planning, one step at a time, and hired a professional moving and storing company for Reasons.
I mean, look at the two scenes we're given here. In the first, she's carrying out her very carefully planned removal of the body of a noisy neighbor in the middle of the night, and all she needs is just a little help from her dim bulb male accomplice to get the corpse down the back staircase in a coffin purchased with cash from a thrift shop in another state, slip it into their Subaru Hatchback, and drive an hour to a state park closed due to COVID-19 so they can slide the box into the deserted lake (after weighing it down, of course.)
The guy completely messes up his ONE CONTRIBUTION to the master plan, NATURALLY.
In an attempt to make up for his ridiculous bungling, the guy offers to dig up all the corpses in the back yard, stuff them into the cardboard boxes they've been saving up from the four-times-daily-Amazon purchases which have been arriving since the Stay at Home order was initiated, and find a canyon nearby to dump and burn them. What he didn't tell her was that he was going to try to transfer all 23 victims all at once, leading to an hysterical accident on the way to the canyon as the boxes overburdened with bodies and odor-killing baking soda fell off and spilled into the street. This guy can't do ANYTHING right.
I guess these two messes were cleaned up, because we then move to an unrelated scene where they've gone to visit their empty box collection at the nearby U-Store It and the guy decides he wants to go swimming in the boxes for some reason. I don't know, it's really weird.
In the end, the woman here realizes that if she keeps asking her husband to try to do stuff he'll probably end up dying too early- that is, before that massive insurance policy she talked him into buying matures- so she decides they should do all of their moving and storage by using this professional MakeSpace service. It's a rather odd way to end what was to this point a really graphic, horrifying commercial, but ok.