Saturday, May 9, 2020
The Stock Market is still down almost 20% from its highs of only two months ago, when thousands upon thousands of terrified people cashed out their 401(k)s to make sure they had SOME money to live on. The Unemployment rate is almost 15%. Millions of Americans are scared to death that even when the Lock Down and Stay at Home orders are lifted, the jobs they counted on to pay their mortgage and kids' college funds and health care and just to put food on the table simply won't be there anymore.
But hell, let's not worry about that- let's focus on this new piece of technology that deals with a REALLY urgent matter: How are rich white people going to keep up their exercise routine?
This monstrosity STARTS at $2995. And that's before the monthly workout subscriptions. But let's face it, this isn't aimed at people who are at all concerned about anything like Money. More like people who are bored with their daily Peloton sessions and are looking for a little variety before ending the day with a soak in the hot tub. And bonus- this thing has a small footprint, so you can set it up right next to that Peloton bike, not that floor space is any more of an issue for the customers of this obscenity than its price is.
Because its the kind of exercise that fits MY budget, I'm heading out for another walk into a world I hate just a little bit more thanks to this commercial.