Saturday, October 17, 2020

Dixie's hysterical "Make it Right" ad

So this guy has a date over for dinner.  He cooks the dinner, I guess to show off his skills in the kitchen.  This is a smart move.  It's the only smart move he makes in the entire commercial.  Everything else he does is completely, totally, budding-relationship-ending WRONG.

1.  He infantilizes his date by putting the food on the plate himself and carrying it in from the kitchen instead of just putting the ingredients on the table and letting her help herself.  She's an adult- she can't decide how much she wants?  He has to decide her portion size for her?  He really should not be doing this, ESPECIALLY since

2.  He puts a RIDICULOUS amount of food on that plate.  I mean, seriously.  He wants her to enjoy the food.  Maybe he wants to show her that he dismisses retrograde notions of "lady portions."  But does he want her to eat until she's uncomfortable.  Because, again- that's a LOT of food on that plate.

3.  He does some stupid little dance on the way in from the kitchen.  I don't know what that is, but....we don't want to see it, and I find it hard to believe that she does, either.  I know you're trying to make a big deal out of all of this, buddy, but...come on.  That's spaghetti and meatballs you're serving up.  Maybe it's your specialty, or maybe it's an old family recipe.  It's still just spaghetti and meatballs.

4.  This is the big one.  I can't believe I, a person who has a date roughly every Leap Year, has to point this out, have a woman over for dinner.  That's pretty intimate.  Nobody does this on a first date- this comes after several dates in public places.  This is getting serious.  But you've managed to reach this level in the relationship, and you....serve dinner on CHEAP PAPER PLATES???  

OH MY GOD MAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?  PAPER PLATES?  Why don't you just come out and TELL this woman "I like you, but not enough to wash a freaking dish for?"  You are in your OWN HOUSE, you aren't at a camp site or even on the freaking patio.  YOU ARE IN YOUR OWN HOUSE.  YOU ARE SERVING A FANCY DINNER to a woman who agreed to COME TO YOUR HOUSE.  YOU USE ACTUAL PLATES IN SITUATIONS LIKE THIS!

Seriously, is this guy related to that jackass in the Downy commercials who wears a ragged t-shirt to a first date?  I guess we should be grateful that guys like this are willing to reveal their unsuitability as life partners early on and are therefore less likely to successfully bequeath their DNA to another generation, but jeeeesh....this is just sad.  

And then he blames the cheap paper plates for ruining his date.  Um, no, buddy.  Sorry, but NO.  You use plates meant for kid's birthday parties and built to carry slices of cake or a hot dog to attempt the transportation of 2 pounds of hot spaghetti and meatballs?  That's on you.  And if you never see that nice woman again, it's your loss and very much her gain.  She can do much, much better. 


  1. Don't forget the bonus woke points awarded for it featuring a mixed race date (with the white guy naturally being portrayed as the dope)

    1. It's actually becoming increasingly rare for commercials to show couples that are NOT mixed-race.