Monday, February 1, 2021

If I were the woman in this Cologuard Commercial, I'd walk faster


You're CLEARLY someone who takes care of yourself!  I mean, most people just BUY running shoes, but not you! You're in the one percent of the population which not only OWNS running shoes, but actually uses them to run!  You rock!

And now, the bad news.  You have very serious medical issues.  For one thing, you see giant marshmallows in the park.  For another thing, you think you can interact with the giant marshmallows.  And worst of all (for now,) you think the giant marshmallows are giving you medical advice.  I know health insurance is expensive, but substituting a jogging marshmallow only you can see for a trained professional is not the way to save money....

Please, seek help.  You need it more than you think you do.  There are actual medications that can help make the talking, jogging giant marshmallows go away, but they aren't going to be recommended by the giant marshmallows.  Go see a real doctor, before the giant marshmallow you think is running your life tells you to start ending the lives of others.  

No comments:

Post a Comment