So if you've got a fever and chills, are short of breath, and a headache....are you really going to think it's the flu? I mean it is Spring, 2021 after all. I wouldn't think I've got the flu. I'd assume I have that disease the mention of which gets your YouTube channel demonetized. You know, that disease that doesn't exist and is just a plot to make you wear a mask because the government wants you to wear a mask because Reasons. The one that was totally made up by China to destroy Donald Trump. Yeah, that one.
Anyway, if you are an optimist and think you have a nasty case of the Flu and not that Other Thing, you've got about fifteen minutes to contact your doctor, get a diagnosis through a Zoom call, and get a prescription for Xofluza (I can't believe that wasn't taken already) filled by your local pharmacy before your window of opportunity to use this drug that I guess must be taken inside the first two days of symptoms closes faster than you wish those people living with you would just close the damn door already so you don't freeze to death while you're stuck inside (you know, those people who are going to mock your pain by throwing a ball back in forth right in front of your window while you sit propped up in your bed wondering why they don't get into the car and go pick up your damn prescription already.)
Xofluza (why does that sound like a really dumb music festival?) comes with all those wonderfully awful side effects that you've grown to love over the years- headaches, diarrhea, shortness of breath (you know, the same symptoms as the flu) so you know it's working to make you ten percent healthier than you were before. Unless you've got that other thing we aren't going to talk about.