Oh look, it's college football season again which means that Dr. Pepper- you know, that company that produces a kinda/sorta popular cola drink for people who would consume cough medicine if it were ice cold and wouldn't poison them in large doses- is ready to inflict upon the world another season of Fansville, that "show" that celebrates stupid, juvenile obsession with Good Old Generic State University where Mommy and Daddy presumably met and never really left.
For some reason, Mommy and Daddy bonded not only over football games at GSU but also their love of Dr. Pepper, which probably made them outcasts with all the popular groups at college which were made up of young adults and not children. Hoping that their offspring will carry on the tradition of being a bullied and mocked pariah strangled by the apron strings of Mommy and Daddy, they send him on his way with a 12-pack of Doctor Pepper. Arriving at his dorm with that under his arm will absolutely guarantee at least a Freshman term with absolutely no friends. I guess getting LOSER tattooed on his forehead wasn't in the family budget, so this will have to do.
Oh right, I almost forgot to mention what these "Fansville" commercials remind me of: A sitcom based on a single, lame premise that mysteriously keeps getting renewed, season after season, because it's fan base, while tiny, is also fanatically dedicated. Lots of people seem to like these commercials- far more than actually drink Doctor Pepper. So let's strap in and settle down for another season of lunatic parents who never really graduated from college painting their faces and trying hard to pass their sad inability to Let it Go on to their unfortunate kids. Because people who like to pretend that they ever had glory days, and especially people who think that the glory days never ended, are Funny.
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