You know what I'm talking about- that Dead Zone between Christmas/New Year's and Easter where there's no legitimate reason to buy shiny pieces of rock or candy so Capitalism hits us over the head with the Second-Biggest Guilt Trip Holiday (the biggest being Mother's Day) of the year, Valentine's Day. Smack dab in the middle of the dreariest, coldest month, it's just wedged in there to remind us that if we are part of a couple, it's time to start spending, and if we aren't part of a couple, there's Something Wrong With Us Losers.
In the first scene of this chapter of It Never Ever Ends Does It? we are reminded that if you want her to say Yes, be sure to give her something that glitters and do it while standing next to a cliff. Wait a few dates so you have a good idea of how much she costs, because that Token that Says She's Taken is a big enough waste of money without going overboard. And if there's no cliff around, do the
buying asking in front of an audience in some loud, ostentatious way that pretty much guarantees the "right" answer.
Then go out and buy some chocolate, too. Gotta keep the economy afloat until April.