Sunday, November 21, 2010

Meet Five Guys who've never had a good seat during the Super Bowl

This is too easy.

First- are we really supposed to celebrate and admire a handful of five rich choads who have so much disposable income that they've attended every Super Bowl? They aren't football fans (I don't care what the tag line says.) Spending huge amounts of money to watch two teams you don't root for in the regular season doesn't make you a football fan. It makes you someone willing to blow a wad on yourself. Not the same thing.

Second- I love the guy who fondly runs through his pristine collection of old Super Bowl tickets- they aren't even in plastic cases, for christ's sake. Good for you, buddy, really. Each ticket represents god knows how many Thanksgiving dinners that could have been provided at your neighborhood food bank, if not for your idiot obsession with "the big game."

"Going to the SuperBowl is like Fourth of July and New Year's Day put together." Really? Only if those two holidays involve spending huge amounts of money on tickets and travel so you can sit in a crowd of 80,000 strangers watching what looks like ants wearing uniforms of Teams You Don't Root For In The Regular Season running up and down a field.

Third- "when I get that ticket in my hands, and I realize I'm going again..." seriously, I'm pulling for you, man. Especially now that the NFL has agreed to play the game in NYC in the very near future. I'm hoping for snow and a wind chill of -80 F.
After all, you and your buddies want the REAL football experience, right?

I salute all these guys, who have somehow managed to convince their families that a couple of grand on tickets, travel, and hotel rooms is a lovely tradition to continue just as the Christmas Visa bill shows up. Have a great time at the next sterile-atmosphere neutral-site Super Bowl, played indoors and on carpet, surrounded by corporate hacks armed with Tax-Deductible tickets who care about the actual teams playing just as much as you do. As usual, I'll be watching the game from the best seat in the house, which happens to be the couch in MY house.

I won't miss a single play. You'll miss plenty. But hey, you get to brag on your "tradition" in a commercial for Visa. More power to you, idiots.

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