Friday, November 12, 2010

There's a little disgusting, clueless poser in all of us

This is so weak, so insulting, so infuriating, so just plain WRONG that it's almost unsnarkable. The idea of a collection of fat, middle-aged secretaries, office jockeys, Not-Even-Weekend-Warriors, and Kobe Bryant playing soldier is simply rank.

"There's a little soldier in all of us?" Not enough to get us down to the recruitment office, clearly. But enough to inspire us to buy some disgusting, "War is so SuperAwesomeAmazing OMIGOD it's all about killing people and walking away without a scratch LOL" video game and pretend to be "heroes" by blowing digital "enemies" off of rooftops using plastic guns and controllers. Ugh.

I know real veterans, of real wars. Thankfully, there was more than "a little soldier" in these guys. There was enough soldier to get them to sign on the dotted line and go off and actually put themselves in harm's way- in real life, where the bad guys shoot back, and there's no Reset or Save buttons.

Know what these guys all tell me? That good old Bill Sherman was right when he said "War is Hell." That's HELL- not Fun, not Cool, not something you engage in because you are bored and your pathetic little lives are so devoid of meaning that you get some kind of sick thrill by playing Soldier in your darkened living room. So, Fat Secretary? If you are going to play soldier, do us a favor and take the "I Support the Troops" bumper sticker off your Rav 4. Because you don't know what being a soldier is. Kobe? Cut the fucking crap, and cut a check to the nearest VA hospital. No, it won't be as fun as blasting High-def images off your flat screen, but at least you'd be accomplishing something besides being an even bigger, more clueless ass than you already are.

Hey Gamers- if you really think there's "a little soldier in you," how about huffing and puffing your sorry asses down to the recruitment center? See how much "fun" you find actual combat. Quick warning- you might get your hair mussed a bit. And again- the guys you shoot at will be shooting back at you- with real ammo.

Meanwhile, cut the War is Fun bullshit, ok? It's a massive insult to the real heroes, who are putting their lives on the line on the other side of the planet so you can play Soldier in your basement. God what contemptible trash you are.


  1. Thank you. As I've posted before, I like to play video games; but even I felt icky about "virtualizing" (if you know a better word, I'd like to hear it) a current, ongoing war, w/ present-day consequences and casualties. Thank heaven the makers didn't go through w/ their original scheme to have a "Taliban" faction playable online.

  2. Word, bro. Bet Rush plays this game.

  3. "Virtualizing" is a good word. I'd certainly include "trivializing" too-- the message of games like this is that war is just plain kick-ass fun and as such should not be hogged by those guys "lucky" enough to be in the military.

  4. You're preaching to the choir on this one; my older brother is a lifer sergeant in the Signals Corp and he didn't find Afghanistan any more fun than he found wearing a blue beret and keeping Turkish and Greek Cypriots from starting their war back up.

  5. I'd also like to know exactly what is "Mature" about this game, or the losers who would play it.

  6. Down Sheepdogs!

    Embrace the parody and galos humor. Our game is real...Too bad we don't have theme music as good as the Stones.

    It's actually a cool commercial if you don't take yourselve so seriously.

    An old Operator here.