Sunday, November 18, 2012
Wal Mart, Black Friday, and the Triumph of Greed over Humanity
In case you hadn't heard, at Wal Mart "Black Friday," that annual celebration of gross excess and the unlimited power of marketing and corporate greed, will once again begin on Thursday Evening. That's Thanksgiving Day. You know, that secular holiday where the Banks and Schools and Post Offices are all closed so that we can all get together with our loved ones (or our families) to share our gratitude for getting through another year safe and sound.
Which means it's time for our friends over at FOX to send out the regular parade of scum-sucking, corporation-worshiping, subhuman pigs to rant against the GALL of minimum-wage workers wanting to (gasp!) spend an ENTIRE DAY with their families every last Thursday in November, the lazy ungrateful bastards. Spencer Hughes over at Ultimate Corporate Whore Radio (XM/Sirius Fox Channel) is especially talented at this, raving that the shelf-stockers and floor cleaners and greeters and cashiers who are "lucky" enough to have a job at Wal Mart should be "grateful" for the opportunity to work, considering that so many people don't have employment at all in These Hard Times, and they'll Never Get Ahead if they don't give up their Slovenly Ways. Hughes likes to call such people, who have the nerve to have Family Values like "I want to have dinner with my family like everyone else instead of rushing off to help people load 45-inch flat screens onto carts like I'll be doing for the next month anyway" even though they are are struggling to keep their heads above water "pathetic whiners," and then strongly encourage their Betters at Wal Mart to fire their useless, bitching asses.
Hughes and his braying ilk may take a call now and then from an informed citizen who tries to question the morality of a company which is owned by six siblings who were Productive and Hard-Working enough to accomplish being the spawn of Sam Walton, each of whom will make more money in unearned interest every month than most people will see in a lifetime of toil, squeezing even more unneeded profit out of their tired, discouraged wage slaves by forcing desperate, frightened employees to cut their holidays short every Thanksgiving. They'll respond by calling the questioner Jealous, Lazy and-- always-- Ungrateful. The message will be received, and the next five callers will agree that the Waltons should just can all these losers and replace them with people who understand the virtue of hard work and unquestioned loyalty to the Boss- and then regale us with their own Rags to Riches story, and how they Worked Very Hard Since The Day They Were Born and how Nobody Ever Gave Them Anything and how they Earned Every Penny They Have.
Oh, and "Obamacare." Just Because.
I'm not sure why these hosts don't include the sound effect of a whip cracking in the background during their "oh boo hoo you can't have dinner with your family, next year start a business and get rich like you are supposed to if you don't like it" spittle-thons. It would certainly fit. I mean, think about it- they are glorifying the success of a corporation built on the product of Chinese slave labor, sold by Americans they can pay next to nothing because of their success at Union-busting. (Please, don't get these people started on UNIONS. They killed American business- which means, they killed America- you know.)
I wonder if, when these soulless dicks watch A Christmas Carol with their deductibles-- err, children-- they pause the DVD at the part where Scrooge complains that Bob Cratchit wants Christmas Day off and explain to the family how the scene would play better if Cratchit fell to his knees and kissed Scrooge's ass to show his gratitude- and how Scrooge would have been perfectly justified in just tossing Cratchit out into the snow (no Socialist Unemployment Insurance back then, either- ah, the Good Old Days!) My guess is that they just explain that Cratchit is just like those lazy, stupid, 47% Takers not Makers who work at Wal Mart yet for some reason think that they are entitled to Holidays like everyone else, even though They Don't Even Pay Taxes. The nerve. They clearly don't get that the Waltons are more deserving of another several hundred million dollars they can never spend than the workers are of a few more hours with their families.
Coming next year: Wal Mart's Huge Enormous Can't Be Missed Post-Christmas Spectacular starts at Noon, December 25. Better get those gifts unwrapped quickly- you are expected on the floor.