Monday, November 19, 2012

What's on that Samsung Galaxy Video

Take your pick.  The video Mommy made for Daddy that he's not supposed to watch on the plane is

A)  A streaming video of a recent Sixty Minutes Report on the shocking discovery that more than half of all passenger planes have faulty cargo doors that tend to pop open at 20,000 feet, sucking the plane's contents into the stratosphere, or

B)  A Dear John Video- as in "Dear John, while you are away on yet another 'business trip' with that whore secretary of yours, I'm emptying the bank account and running off with the guy from the Samsung kiosk.  The kids are with your mother.  Don't call."  Or

C)  What we are supposed to think it is- an X-rated video this woman made to....umm..."entertain" the guy while he's away.  Which means she's not his wife, and those aren't her kids.  She's the babysitter.  Because married women with kids don't do this.

Whatever it is, her warning isn't going to do any good, of course.  Because it doesn't matter how inappropriate the video might be in an non-private setting.  We all know that owners of phones like this don't give a flying damn who is listening to their conversations (I have heard far more about the personal lives of total strangers through their phone banter than I ever wanted to) or who is within earshot of their music- they SURE aren't going to start caring about who is watching and listening to Babysitter be what she thinks is sexy on a video.*  So good luck, people who are sitting within three aisles of this guy- you are going to get an earful.  And if you crane your neck a little, maybe even an eyeful.**

*Yes, I'm going with Option C on this one.

**What I REALLY hope is that Babysitter is sick of Daddy and knows he's a clueless, inconsiderate douchenozzle who WILL watch her video on the plane- and the video consists of her yelling really loudly "I DID WHAT YOU TOLD ME TO- I PLANTED THE BOMB IN YOUR SUITCASE!!  ALL PRAISE TO ALLAH!!!"

(BTW, anyone else think that look Babysitter gives Daddy just after she says "don't watch it on the plane" is far more Creepy than it is Cute or Sexy?  Brrrr.)


  1. As an avid fan of most of your posts, I was hoping against hope that I wouldn't see a write-up on this particular commercial when I saw it...But I think a little part of me always knew it was inevitable.

    I really like this commercial. There, I said it. That wasn't so bad. What hurts a little more to say is that I think the acting is kinda...good.

    Stick with me for a minute, here. Other than owning the phone, what does this guy do to deserve the level of douche baggery you ascribe to him. To me it just looks like a young couple with young kids, (maybe twins), saying goodbye to Daddy. The excitement level of the kids when they tell Daddy they've made videos for him, and his somewhat surprised reaction to that, also suggest that this wasn't "yet another business trip." Dare I say, Daddy even looks a little reluctant to leave...

    When Mommy gives Daddy the wink-wink, nod-nod at the end, it's not slutty or sultry. She just smiles at him. He doesn't react with machismo, or fear, or worst of all, like the semi-coherent "Clueless Dad" trope that graces our screens so often.

    What can I say? It makes me laugh...And I own a flip phone.

  2. I'm not sure why you are reluctant to disagree with me concerning this commercial; it's allowed.

    If I liked this commercial, I would not have used it on my blog- so naturally, all my comments about commercials posted here are going to be negative. If I scroll down the comments left by YouTubers, I'll find that 99 percent of the people who took the time to post agree with you and like the ad. Nothing wrong with that.

  3. Oh, I wasn't reluctant to disagree with you on the site. I was just loathing the fact that, at least with respect to this commercial, I would on the side of the mouth breathers over at YouTube. That's enough to make anyone cringe...