Monday, November 19, 2012
What's on that Samsung Galaxy Video
Take your pick. The video Mommy made for Daddy that he's not supposed to watch on the plane is
A) A streaming video of a recent Sixty Minutes Report on the shocking discovery that more than half of all passenger planes have faulty cargo doors that tend to pop open at 20,000 feet, sucking the plane's contents into the stratosphere, or
B) A Dear John Video- as in "Dear John, while you are away on yet another 'business trip' with that whore secretary of yours, I'm emptying the bank account and running off with the guy from the Samsung kiosk. The kids are with your mother. Don't call." Or
C) What we are supposed to think it is- an X-rated video this woman made to....umm..."entertain" the guy while he's away. Which means she's not his wife, and those aren't her kids. She's the babysitter. Because married women with kids don't do this.
Whatever it is, her warning isn't going to do any good, of course. Because it doesn't matter how inappropriate the video might be in an non-private setting. We all know that owners of phones like this don't give a flying damn who is listening to their conversations (I have heard far more about the personal lives of total strangers through their phone banter than I ever wanted to) or who is within earshot of their music- they SURE aren't going to start caring about who is watching and listening to Babysitter be what she thinks is sexy on a video.* So good luck, people who are sitting within three aisles of this guy- you are going to get an earful. And if you crane your neck a little, maybe even an eyeful.**
*Yes, I'm going with Option C on this one.
**What I REALLY hope is that Babysitter is sick of Daddy and knows he's a clueless, inconsiderate douchenozzle who WILL watch her video on the plane- and the video consists of her yelling really loudly "I DID WHAT YOU TOLD ME TO- I PLANTED THE BOMB IN YOUR SUITCASE!! ALL PRAISE TO ALLAH!!!"
(BTW, anyone else think that look Babysitter gives Daddy just after she says "don't watch it on the plane" is far more Creepy than it is Cute or Sexy? Brrrr.)